When you first fall in love and get married, money is not likely to be one of your biggest concerns. However, there is no denying that money does matter, and if you and your spouse are not on the same financial page, it can get pretty stressful pretty fast, and actually, financial stress is one of the most common reasons for couples to seek therapy right now.
Marriage and stress do not make good bedfellows, so it’s a good idea to learn how to manage financial stress within your relationship. Here are a few things that will help you with that.
Talk about it
Keeping the lines of communication open is one of the biggest signs of a healthy marriage, and it’s particularly important when you’re dealing with financial stress. That’s why it’s so important that you talk openly with each other about your financial decisions, especially if they are likely to affect you both. Some couples assign one person to take care of all the financial stuff, and although this may seem like a practical solution, it can backfire pretty quickly when the other party does not agree with some of the decisions that are being made.
Setting financial goals together is a pretty smart move in terms of marriage and stress. Sit down together and prioritize what you want to spend your money on. Then, create a list of those financial priorities and form an action plan to help you achieve your goals. If you’re both on the same page, working towards common goals, financial stress is less likely to rear its head in your marriage.
Don’t play the blame game
It’s not always easy, but if you can avoid playing the blame game, it will be far better for your marriage. It’s easy to blame your spouse when your finances are in trouble, but what will it really achieve? It’ll just rile them up, cause anger on both sides and eventually drive a wedge between the two of you. It would be far more productive to acknowledge that you are where you are, and instead of arguing about it, come up with a strategy to get your finances back on track again. Diffuse the issue and you’ll stress a lot less, which means you’ll have one less thing to worry about when you’re already worrying about money.
When you’re going through a period of financial stress, it can be healthy to take a step back and look at all of the good things you do have. Marriage and stress aren’t always unavoidable, but the effects can be lessened when you place your focus back on the good things like the love you have for each other, your beautiful children, or whatever else life has blessed you with.
Although the above techniques can help you navigate marriage and stress, particularly when your stress is financial stress, they can be difficult to put into practice, which is why working with a quality trained couple’s therapist, like the affordable ones here at The Calgary Institute of Counselling can be beneficial.
Our experienced counsellors can help you mediate your issues and lessen your stress. Click here.